Hail to the Horned King! Devil Worshippers Love Home Depot’s Sinister Halloween Decor—but a Local Church Isn’t Having It!
It’s Halloween season, and Home Depot’s terrifying lineup of decorations is more than just raising eyebrows—it’s raising the dead! This year, the home improvement store’s haunting collection has found a rather surprising group of devoted fans: devil worshippers. But their love of Home Depot’s ghoulish goods hasn’t gone unnoticed, sparking a spooky showdown with a local non-denominational church.
From the infamous 12-foot skeleton, now lovingly dubbed “Big Skelly” by occult enthusiasts, to the Inferno Pumpkin King—a towering, horned menace with fiery eyes—Home Depot’s decorations have become the must-have for Halloween lovers and followers of the dark arts alike. Social media has been flooded with devil worshippers praising the home improvement giant for their “infernal ingenuity,” calling it the perfect place to grab occult-friendly decor.
One anonymous high priestess told us, “The sheer evil energy of these decorations speaks to our soul. We finally have a place to buy items that match our Satanic gatherings. That Pumpkin King? It’s practically screaming for a pentagram beneath it.”
But the fun didn’t stop there. With devil worshippers swarming Home Depot aisles to scoop up their favorite hellish props, things took a dramatic turn when a local non-denominational church decided they had enough. This week, an unplanned exorcism took place—in the lumber aisle of the store!
A group of devoted churchgoers, led by Pastor Ted Donovan, staged an impromptu prayer circle, claiming the store had been “overrun with demonic energy.” Eyewitnesses report that the congregation began chanting scriptures and sprinkling holy water on the demon statues, skull-laden wreaths, and even a few stray power tools.
“We saw a woman in a black robe holding a fog machine like it was some kind of unholy relic,” one witness, a local shopper, recalled. “That’s when Pastor Ted just lost it. He grabbed a cross and marched straight to the lumber aisle, declaring it a battleground between good and evil.”
Customers watched in shock as the pastor began performing what could only be described as an exorcism on the 12-foot skeleton. “In the name of the Lord, I command you to leave this house of hardware!” he shouted, dramatically waving his Bible.
Churchgoers joined in, sprinkling holy water down Aisle 12 and even attempting to cleanse a stack of 2x4s, which they claimed had absorbed “the energy of the occult.” Employees were left speechless, unsure whether to call security or just let the divine intervention unfold.
While Home Depot staff managed to steer the church group towards the exit, the exorcism has only fueled the viral sensation. Social media is buzzing with jokes and memes, with some devil worshippers even calling it “a blessing from Beelzebub.” Meanwhile, church members have vowed to return and conduct a full cleansing of the store before Halloween, warning that Home Depot is “on the verge of becoming a gateway to Hell.”
Will Pastor Ted and his congregation succeed in banishing the spooky spirits from Home Depot? Or will the devil worshippers continue to reign supreme in their quest for the perfect Halloween decor? One thing’s for sure: this Halloween, Home Depot is the hottest battleground between heaven and hell!
Hail Home Depot—Where Demons Decorate and Exorcisms are Free!
